


This Is How It Ends

by knightinsourarmor



Category: The Black Tapes Podcast
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Short One Shot, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 03:13:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10958466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightinsourarmor/pseuds/knightinsourarmor
Summary: A part of him wishes he could go back. Go back and fix everything. Stop himself from making such foolish mistakes. So they wouldn’t end up here. So he could have been happy again. But he knew that it would never happen. Time would continue to march forward and wishing would not bring Alex back. Would not allow him to correct his mistakes and he’ll just have to live with his choices. He knew that he could, although the pain made him feel otherwise. She was wrong to have apologized. This was his fault.





	This Is How It Ends

**Author's Note:**

> So Strand is probably going to die or maybe not. More likely than Alex will, but I couldn't resist writing her dying instead! So enjoy the pain.

“Strand.”

She says his name in a hoarse voice, not really loud at all, but it’s all that he can hear. All that he can focus on as he pulls her against his chest, tucking them away in a dark corner. Strand’s not sure if they are safe her, but Alex had collapsed only a few minutes ago and he isn’t sure if he should carry her. 

Oh, Strand knows that she is dying. That it wouldn’t matter if he carried her away to some safe location or kept them here where they might be spotted. It doesn’t really mean anything, but he can’t bring himself to move another step.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. You shouldn’t even be talking right now. Goddamn it Alex.” His tone is harsh and he can see her flinch and he hates himself for it. He is upset, still tense and on-guard from what just happened. He’s yanking off his shirt, too tired to try and rip it, pressing the material against her stomach. It won’t help but he has to do something. Strand can feel the cold air against his skin and he would normally never do something like this but modesty is the furthest thing from his mind.

They had been ambushed. Attacked by people neither of them really saw. Strand knows some of the reasons, could come up with more. None of it really mattered. They ran, bullets flying by. One of them was lodged in his shoulder, another having grazed off his arm, but he is too busy to worry about his own injures. Neither of them had noticed until it was too late. The bullets that had struck Alex’s stomach. 

“I’m so sorry,” she is saying again, reaching up to touch his cheek. Blood stains his face and he reaches up a hand to take her’s. Squeezing it tightly as he tries to keep pressure on her wound. ‘She’s already dead,’ his mind tells him but he doesn’t listen. He has to keep trying right? If he doesn’t he’ll regret it more than he already was right now. “Promise me you’ll get them Richard.”

He nods, unable to say anything and she’s smiling. It’s heartbreaking to see. She always had a lovely smile, bright and inviting. It was like some horrible nightmare having to see it now, her face pale. Eyes dim as the life slowly drains out of her. Strand almost turns his head away so he wouldn’t have to look at her. 

“You know I always l-” but the word doesn’t get finished as she starts coughing up blood. She really didn’t need to finish the sentence anyways. Like or love or whatever she was going to say, Strand knows. Of course he knows. He had for a long time but he choose to ignore it. They both had, didn’t they? It was easier that way. 

“I know,” he tells her. If she’s dying then what did it matter anymore? There was no reason to pretend he didn’t feel the same way. No reason to avoid it. “Me too.”

She’s smiling again, finishing her coughing fit. He knows time is running out. She’s almost gone. He presses his forehead to her own, bringing her further up in his arms. Once she’s gone, he’ll take her somewhere. Let her body have it’s final rest as he makes good on his promise. But for right now, as he feels her body go limp in his arms, he allows himself to fall apart. He had once been so put together. A serious man who was reasonable and logical and he still was that man in some ways. He knew what he had to do next, knew that things were not over. Yet ever since he had met Alex Reagan, Strand had slowly been falling apart, thread by thread. And now here, in some dirty alleyway, he is sobbing. Mourning the lost of a good friend and someone who could have been more if they had only let it happen. 

A part of him wishes he could go back. Go back and fix everything. Stop himself from making such foolish mistakes. So they wouldn’t end up here. So he could have been happy again. But he knew that it would never happen. Time would continue to march forward and wishing would not bring Alex back. Would not allow him to correct his mistakes and he’ll just have to live with his choices. He knew that he could, although the pain made him feel otherwise. She was wrong to have apologized. This was his fault. 

Lifting her up into his arms, pausing to make sure he would not fall over, tears drying on his cheek, he moved onward. Knowing he might end up joining her soon enough. 

It would be a fitting end.


End file.
